A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Ade
isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “if there are ducks sitting on a
fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”
Ade says, ‘None.’’
The teacher asks, Why?
Ade says,
Because the shot sacred
them all off.
The teacher says, ‘NO’,
two.
Ade asks the teacher, “if
you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor,
One is licking her ice
cream,
One is sucking her ice
cream,
One is biting her ice cream,
Which one is married?
The teacher says , “The one sucking her ice cream.”
Ade says, ‘NO, the one
with the wedding ring.
My friend thinks he is
smart.
He told me an onion is
the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
A boy is selling fish on
a corner.
To get his customers'
attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish
here!"
A pastor hears
this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.
The boy responds,
"Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple
fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.
The wife responds
surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that
way”
He explains to her
why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the
dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking
potatoes!"
A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich.
He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!" The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda.
Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats, shoots, and leaves."
A teacher asked her
students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.
"My father grows
beans," said by bello.
"My mother cooks
beans," said by sadiah.
A third student spoke
up, "We are all human beans."
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